My path to Channel 933 would have never happened had I not been a failure at nearly every other job I ever tried.
Pool boy, pig farmer, jewelry polisher, underwear model, carpenter, kissing-booth proprietor, financial analyst, and pizza delivery boy: failed at 'em all - until one day, I discovered radio & hounded a station so much that they hired me just so I would leave them alone.
Finally - gig that required minimal work and zero talent! Since that first job, my lack of talent has taken me on a wild-goose chase to numerous stations from coast to coast until I somehow managed to convince the big bosses at Channel 933 to hire me here in America's finest city.
Thanks for checking out my page!
I made this list to help you get to know me a little better. If you can make it to the end of this list, I applaud you!
1. Fast is my real last name.
2. I could wear jeans and a white v-neck shirt every day.
3. I would be perfectly happy if I never saw snow again.
4. I used to raise pigs.
5. I’m not a dog person. Or a cat person. Or a snake person. But I am a pot-bellied pig person.
6. I love Ohio State football.
7. Pizza is my all-time favorite food. Pepperoni and extra cheese only.
8. I love Asia. The continent, not the band.
9. I grew up in the only county in Ohio without an actual city.
10. I was Grover Hill Elementary’s spelling bee champion in 5th grade.
11. When I was a sophomore, my high school played against Lebron James’ team in the state finals and lost by four points.
12. My first job was as a lifeguard at the Paulding Waterpark.
13. I was in a band in high school called King Jimmy’s All Stars.
14. During my junior year at Wayne Trace High School, I rocked it as Harold Hill in “The Music Man”.
15. I used to work in a pyramid. In Las Vegas.
16. I ran in the 2007 Boston Marathon and finished right behind the winner. By about an hour and 20 minutes.
17. I never tasted an almond until I was 25.
18. I hate snakes.
19. I love the desert.
20. I also love dessert. Pretty much anything unhealthy except carrot cake and pumpkin pie.
21. I can’t stand watching hockey, soccer, or golf on TV and get irritated when highlights from any of these sports make it on Sportscenter’s Top 10.
22. I wish I lived in the 1970’s, but can’t imagine life without my iPhone.
23. I love guitar solos.
24. I used to work out in the same gym as Criss Angel.
25. I may very well be the most impatient person in the world and probably wouldn’t have made it through this entire list if I wasn’t writing it.